Hope is My Anchor
Strength for your soul amid life's storms March 2004
_________________________________________________________________
As I sat in church today, I thought how much our load is lightened when we know
that our suffering has a purpose. When there is no purpose that we can see, when
suffering appears to be meaningless, then to go on seems hopeless.
This is where I find I must cling to God and what I know of His character. Knowing
that He is good, loving and sovereign, I can find faith to believe that He is both
working for my good in the midst of a situation where I see no good, and that He is
going to be glorified. And when I have that hope that He will be glorified, I find
strength to live another day and take joy in my God.
I struggled through these thoughts—and still do on occasion—when Dave first went on
medical leave, now almost 4 years ago. Sometimes I still ask, God, what purpose
can this all serve? You gave Dave a shepherd's heart—put it to use! I can be so
impatient! I don't see God's plan, I don't understand His ways—but I can trust in His
character which He reveals to me in His Word. I wrote about my early struggles and
the prayer that changed my life in the magazine Just Between Us (November 2003):
May we all be willing to be changed and molded by God.
In Christ,
Merry
Strength for your soul amid life's storms March 2004
_________________________________________________________________
As I sat in church today, I thought how much our load is lightened when we know
that our suffering has a purpose. When there is no purpose that we can see, when
suffering appears to be meaningless, then to go on seems hopeless.
This is where I find I must cling to God and what I know of His character. Knowing
that He is good, loving and sovereign, I can find faith to believe that He is both
working for my good in the midst of a situation where I see no good, and that He is
going to be glorified. And when I have that hope that He will be glorified, I find
strength to live another day and take joy in my God.
I struggled through these thoughts—and still do on occasion—when Dave first went on
medical leave, now almost 4 years ago. Sometimes I still ask, God, what purpose
can this all serve? You gave Dave a shepherd's heart—put it to use! I can be so
impatient! I don't see God's plan, I don't understand His ways—but I can trust in His
character which He reveals to me in His Word. I wrote about my early struggles and
the prayer that changed my life in the magazine Just Between Us (November 2003):
May we all be willing to be changed and molded by God.
In Christ,
Merry
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed,
but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ
will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to
me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." —Philipians 1:20-21
but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ
will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to
me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." —Philipians 1:20-21
I didn’t want to be the nursery coordinator. My plate was full with two
toddlers, my recently disabled husband Dave, and several ministry
commitments. Still I felt I should. After all, my husband was the
children’s pastor before his medical leave. Didn’t his absence obligate
me?
No, that’s guilt talking, I countered. Was I sure?
Meanwhile I read Rees Howells, Intercessor. When this Welsh
Missionary saw a need, he asked God to meet it, but also for God to
make him willing to fill it. Intercessory prayer was not simply bringing a
solution before God, but wrestling with submitting to God by taking on
the sufferer’s burden as his own.
I wrestled with God’s will for me. God never said, "the workers are
few, go fill every need you see." He said, "ask the Lord of the
harvest…to send workers…"
God, I don’t want to be the nursery coordinator. But if you want
me to, I am willing for my heart to be changed. Help me serve in
love for the parents and their children. It was a different kind of
prayer for me, asking God to change me instead of circumstances. One
from Romans 12:1-2, offering my body as a living sacrifice, my mind to
be renewed, and my desire to be molded by God’s will.
This prayer became powerful as I prayed for Dave’s healing. Let him
return to being a father, husband and pastor, or take him home.
But don’t let him continue suffering, I begged God. Dave went
undiagnosed with chronic Lyme disease for 15 years, and now had
arthritis, mental confusion, dizziness, and memory loss. Instead of
comforting, my touches caused him pain. Gradually I accepted that God
wasn’t answering as I prescribed.
God would have to change me. Make me able to cope and willing to
walk through our painful lives without hating God. Be glorified in me, I
began to pray. Make me willing to walk with You no matter what.
God answered both prayers. He provided four women to fill the
nursery coordinator responsibilities (and kindly didn’t tell me I was nuts
for thinking I should take that on!)
And God has powerfully changed me. He enables me to be gut-
wrenchingly honest with Him when I’m angry or despairing, and to trust
Him more deeply because He listens—and bears this trial with me.
Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before Him, a relationship with
us. His pain carries my deepest hurts, helps me endure when I can’t go
on, gives me rest in His sovereignty, love, and goodness.
Last summer marks three years that my husband has been disabled,
but he has recently been able to attend church, have conversations, go
on short walks, and teach Sunday School. One day God will answer
our prayer for healing (if not in this life, then in the next). But I know
that God will make me like Jesus if I am willing.
toddlers, my recently disabled husband Dave, and several ministry
commitments. Still I felt I should. After all, my husband was the
children’s pastor before his medical leave. Didn’t his absence obligate
me?
No, that’s guilt talking, I countered. Was I sure?
Meanwhile I read Rees Howells, Intercessor. When this Welsh
Missionary saw a need, he asked God to meet it, but also for God to
make him willing to fill it. Intercessory prayer was not simply bringing a
solution before God, but wrestling with submitting to God by taking on
the sufferer’s burden as his own.
I wrestled with God’s will for me. God never said, "the workers are
few, go fill every need you see." He said, "ask the Lord of the
harvest…to send workers…"
God, I don’t want to be the nursery coordinator. But if you want
me to, I am willing for my heart to be changed. Help me serve in
love for the parents and their children. It was a different kind of
prayer for me, asking God to change me instead of circumstances. One
from Romans 12:1-2, offering my body as a living sacrifice, my mind to
be renewed, and my desire to be molded by God’s will.
This prayer became powerful as I prayed for Dave’s healing. Let him
return to being a father, husband and pastor, or take him home.
But don’t let him continue suffering, I begged God. Dave went
undiagnosed with chronic Lyme disease for 15 years, and now had
arthritis, mental confusion, dizziness, and memory loss. Instead of
comforting, my touches caused him pain. Gradually I accepted that God
wasn’t answering as I prescribed.
God would have to change me. Make me able to cope and willing to
walk through our painful lives without hating God. Be glorified in me, I
began to pray. Make me willing to walk with You no matter what.
God answered both prayers. He provided four women to fill the
nursery coordinator responsibilities (and kindly didn’t tell me I was nuts
for thinking I should take that on!)
And God has powerfully changed me. He enables me to be gut-
wrenchingly honest with Him when I’m angry or despairing, and to trust
Him more deeply because He listens—and bears this trial with me.
Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before Him, a relationship with
us. His pain carries my deepest hurts, helps me endure when I can’t go
on, gives me rest in His sovereignty, love, and goodness.
Last summer marks three years that my husband has been disabled,
but he has recently been able to attend church, have conversations, go
on short walks, and teach Sunday School. One day God will answer
our prayer for healing (if not in this life, then in the next). But I know
that God will make me like Jesus if I am willing.
© 2004 Dave and Merry Marinello, all rights reserved.
Welcome! Thanks for visiting our little "harbor" amid life's storms. We hope you
will find rest and encouragement in your struggles, big or small. Here you can:
will find rest and encouragement in your struggles, big or small. Here you can:
"Molded by God" March 2004 Newsletter
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Hope is My Anchor
Strength for your soul amid life's storms
Strength for your soul amid life's storms
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